One year ago today I closed Curious Sofa, but to be honest, it seems like it was just yesterday. Since then, a day does not go by that I do not think of that last day or the many months prior to it when I knew I had a tough decision to make to close after ten years in business. I knew I would look forward to taking time off, but I also knew trying to figure out my next move or creating a new identity for myself would be a strange undertaking. After closing her store, my friend Elizabeth told me it would take a year for me to feel like myself again and she was right.
It was strange to feel so connected to a business; to know that others only knew you because of this thing you had created. For 45 years prior, I was a local Kansas Citian working at many jobs with many people but never did I feel so identified by what I did for a living as I had during the life of Curious Sofa. Perhaps that lead to one of the reasons I wanted to close. I wanted to believe I was much more than a retail store and of course we are all more than what we do for a living. As Americans we cannot help ask that proverbial first question at a cocktail party, "So what do you do?" Remember the scene in Eat, Pray, Love? "You Americans! You do not know how to live! You work too hard, you get burned out. You come home and spend the whole weekend in your pajamas in front of the T.V. You don't know pleasure. You have to be told you've earned it." Those lines pretty much sum it up.
It took me a full year of tying up loose ends with the store, doing a couple freelance jobs, and then finally buckling down to buy and sell for the website which was my plan and now I think I have found my groove. I have to say, I am really liking (dare I say loving?) doing my online store. I can still antique and buy great things for you, use my photography and graphic design skills, stay connected to readers and fans and all the while still work for myself. It can be very time consuming to make it successful, but it is not stressful. Today while antique shopping a former customer asked if I missed the store and my answer is always- no. I would not have closed Curious Sofa if I knew I would have those feelings. It was just time to move on.
I will say that the one thing that is strange now is not having any big plans for the future. Owning my own shop was on my mind forever and I finally accomplished that. Now, at 55 years old, I am learning not having a big dream to aspire to is not such a bad thing. I have worked at a lot of creative jobs, met some amazing people over the years, traveled a bit and was also fortunate to have been published a time or two so for now, I am totally content not having a big dream to haunt me.
Over dinner recently a girlfriend asked if I was happy. (Doesn't that question always stump us?) Happy? Most of us would say, "Yes... for the most part." 'For the most part' meaning we have nothing to complain about but there is always so much more we want for our lives. We get caught up in our daily routine and never think about what we really want or what will make us "happy", we just keep rolling through our lives out of necessity. Later that night, I thought of what I was trying to find after the store closed and what would make me happy for the New Year:
1. I want work that is not stressful.
2. I want to be with people that do not make me uncomfortable.
3. I want to avoid situations where I wish I were somewhere else.
These things would make me very happy. And I will say, this year I have been trying to live my life in that direction. Is it possible to do all that all the time? Of course not. But if I can try to achieve it 85% of the time, it would be a very good thing.
This week I am off to the the Atlanta Gift Market. I will be hunting for new merchandise to offer online and also shopping the Scotts Antique Fair (yippee!!!!) and although I am flying, I will be shipping items back and jamming what I can in my suitcase. I cannot wait to offer these items online for you in the next few weeks. I have also been asked to research merchandise for a museum's gift shop which will be different and fun.
Pearl and I now spend our days hunting down antiques on selected road trips. My spare bedroom is now my photo studio to shoot and manage the online merchandise. The computer is on one side and the tables, backgrounds and props are on the other. I am fortunate to have an enormous window on one wall to shoot everything with natural light. I have my routine down now loading the van with tubs of items I find, I carry them into the house, shoot three pictures of each, measure, tag them with a sku, add to the master log, load back into the tub and take back to the van. Then I make a photo and text list of all the items (trying to add at least 25-50 new pieces a week) and email that to my fulfillment company. (Yes, I hired a company that warehouses my products, downloads my orders and carefully packs and ships your purchases to you.) Then once or twice a week I drive the van full of new products to the warehouse. Back at home I download the images, resize and retouch each, then organize and load them to the online store while I try to write a cute and clever description. All the while hoping I got all the idiosyncrasies of html/web/cart systems right. Whew, like I said, time consuming but I have a beverage at hand while listening to the radio, Pearl by my side with my house slippers on and loving the solitude.
On my off days I do the networking thing. I try to let you know via Facebook, the blog and direct emails of the new merchandise I just added. I always have mixed feelings of doing this because I know we are bombarded by junk mail, online stores and businesses wanting you to buy things but there is no other way for you to know what I just added and it always works. It is the wave of the future as much as I know half of you hate online anything.
I still get emails from customers that had no idea I closed the store. Most are from out of town who only make it through KC once a year. I run into former customers who continue to say they miss touching, feeling and seeing my displays and getting Curious Sofa inspiration. I get that and I knew that would happen. Every once in awhile I run into someone who really cares that I have moved on and are genuinely interested in my well being and not just missing the shop, which is nice.
Most of my online sales are from followers across the country who found me through the magazine articles Curious Sofa was featured in and this blog. This year many have discovered me for the first time through the Martha Stewart Thanksgiving issue, Etsy and some from Better Homes & Gardens. Ironically, the local Kansas Citians are my smallest demographics. They still want me to do a pop-up shop or join the First Friday craze but I concluded it is just not for me right now. I even signed a lease at a local mall but freaked out at the last minute and changed my mind. The idea of creating the big wow again got the best of me. It's just too soon. I pondered selling at Marburger or Junk Bonanza this year too but again, the online store is less hauling, less overhead, more profitable and just easier- for now.
I do a little Google advertising and an occasional ad here and there for curioussofa.com but I am fortunate to have built a following despite some of that. This year I have been asked to join a new online marketplace (similar to One Kings Lane or Fab.com) which will be very exciting to announce when it launches. (hint: 95% vintage and featuring hand chosen 'stylemakers'). My goal is to keep hunting and gathering from Atlanta to Round Top to KC, expand the online store, maybe change the graphics and format to make it even more user friendly and add the crucial online networking links. I think BHG wants me for another project this year and I am also adding a new notch to my belt by doing DIY interior advice. I come into your home for 3 hours and show you what to do. Its been quite fun actually and the clients I have helped have been thrilled.
Earlier this year I felt like some of you must have felt when the kids went off to college and you became empty nesters, "What to I do now? Who am I!!?" I guess there is nothing wrong with getting so wrapped up in something that you lose your balance. Looking back I know I would do shop owning much differently now but we can all say that about something we've been through. I am still so proud of those ten years and all the items we sold, the events and the inspiration my staff and I created for our customers. I hope some business owner somewhere is reading this and wants to do the same for her community. It is an amazing experience and I only hope you have the success I did. I am so glad I did it then and now I am glad to be doing something else. I hope you follow along for what else is to come.
18 comments:
Like you, I owned a store for 10 years and sold it 3 years ago. And I don't miss it either. It was a lot of work and I forgot what holidays and vacations were. I now am doing something different altogether but I have kept my Etsy shop. The transition was very hard for me--I had to slow down and cut back on my schedule. But I am much happier now, too. It was nice to read how someone else adjusted after owning a store. Thanks for sharing your story.
Excellent post. Especially the part about being defined by what we "do" to earn our keep. As individuals, we have so much more to offer the world than a title infers.
Congrats on all your fulfilling endeavors!
Hmmm...where to begin? I've been following your blog for about 3 years but never commented. I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate this post. I have been an antiques dealer for 5 years, having a store for almost 2 years of that time. I recently moved locations and have been extremely successful- What I was making in a year at my old shop I now make in 2 months. All this to say I know how busy life gets and this move has shown me what a big deal having a brick and mortar shop is. And I totally get why you now choose to do online and a show or two as well as other adventures. I think that's wonderful! For me, right now, a retail space is perfect for me. I love antiques and I enjoy working with people who appreciate them. I have a fabulous partner in the business space and look forward to going to work each day. But there have been some major sacrafices including time with me little 8 month old girl as well as my husband and family. I look forward to the time I can look back and see (just like you)how much my shop did for other people... Hopefully I can hang in for as long as you did! Wow- 10 years....
Anyways, congrats on your current successes. I look forward to seeing more of you in print and online! p.s. Recently a fellow dealer of yours from KC came to my shop in Kensington MD. I can't remember his name but his store was called Prize. I loved meeting him and talked to him about how I enjoyed your blog...
Blessings!
It's been a year! Wow that went fast, and look how far you've come!
Its so nice to hear someone say they are genuinely happy with what they do. I think we are all programmed to think ahead, have elaborate dreams and the desire to be extremely successful, and maybe even make it rich. What pressure we and others put on ourselves. But I think its good to feel content with what we are doing at the moment. And later, well maybe then we can dream those dreams.
Have a wonderful week!
I follow your blog faithfully and have ever since I found it. I found what you wrote so inspiring that I can’t even express it in words. I am 67 and still have to work, which I am lucky I can still do. I have wanted to do exactly what you're doing right now (no store for me). I dabble in a few artistic things, like to recycle, and have a good eye for garage sale items. You have inspired me to go for it! I know it will be a lot of work, hopefully I am up for it and can sell enough to keep me going so when I turn 70 I can work from home and at my own speed. It will be nice to have something that I love to do to look forward to. Thank you, thank you for listening- I am going for it!
I love the items you find and sell, your taste is impeccable. Keep up the great work and I wish you only more success! You really have no idea how much you inspired me!
Carol in Denver
Wonderful post ~ I can hardly believe that it has been one year. I have long been an admirer and I remember when you announced the news.
I too own a store and so much of what I read sounds very similar as if I were trying to write it myself. The store is open by appointment but I am focusing more on my Etsy and another web store. While I love having the shop I like not having to be there daily taking away from home and my family. Which is one of the reasons I left my original profession as and RN. Working from home has made me feel much more creative again, is not as stressful, and it gives me a chance to focus more on the little things that are truly important.
Wishing you much Happiness :)
Wow, Debbie. Twelve months. And you sound like you are doing better than just fine.
I check the Forum frequently to see if there are ever any posts there and always wish you the best.
xxoo
Cheri
When you first closed the store, I wondered if all the inspiration of the store would transfer online, and yes it did. Since I never lived in KC, it actually works out better for me. I'm so glad that you are so satisfied with your choices! When I went to the 3 day sale you had over the summer, I got asked in line what job I do. I said, "Oh, I'm just a mom." The lady then proceeded to work out what I should say, since it was such an important job. I think maybe Americans have lost sight of the real point to living. Good for you for remembering and doing it. Can't wait to see what you do next!
I always love reading your posts, Debbie. You are still an inspiration to all of us and you have a way of putting into words, that which helps me so much. I struggle so much these days with, what I call "burn-out." I prefer to think of it as I just haven't found exactly where God wants me at this time. By reading your Post today it helped me to know that it's okay for me to just rest a little for now. Thanks for being so open and honest. I look forward to reading all your comments in the future.
Joyce
Hi Lovely.
I relate so much to your comment about it taking a year to feel like yourself. I am so glad you are coming around, too.
Wish I was in KC so we could go eat somewhere yummy and talk about your top 3 list, which is perfection, by the way.
Miss you and just wanted you to know.
Val
Hi Deb....Gail from Finishing Touches Studio...from your other blog! I saw this post ...loved it too!
I have decided to close my store and move back to the village...something even smaller. No more 100% dedication to this "retail" shop. I want to be open 3 days a week not 7, and at times close for vacations and of course "holidays" of all types...like my birthday!
I know that it is very mmuch needed for my sense of sanity...glad to hear that you have found your spirit again.
Gail
I was sitting at my computer reading my usual blogs and something told me to check out curious sofa. I went to this blog and found this amazing post. I own a boutique flower shop in NY and understand exactly how you feel. I'm so happy that you've made the change that you did and that it's working well for you. At this stage of the game, we get to decide how we'll live our lives and when we get it just right it sings! Best of luck in your new endeavors!
After years of teaching English as a foreign language, I, too, am in the process of changing direction. So when I read your comment about closing the store and moving on to new shores, it was with great interest!!
I live in Germany - actually for almost too many years to count now - but some time along the road I discovered your store in KC. My niece lives there so I always managed to go by whenever I was in the States. And some small stuff always ended up in my suitcase. Small ones because the bigger items were just too big or too heavy. When in the US in 2010, I picked up a copy of 'Where Women Create' and was really interested to find out about the person behind the store.
A couple of months ago I discovered your blog and then your Website. I now regularly get your e-mail update, which I in no way object to because I subscribed for it. And to be honest, for me it's better then the store. Why? I'm so far away and still I can keep up with what's going on on your end. There are things I'd buy but shipping, duty and 19% sales tax tacked on here at customs are daunting!
For you and your plans all the best for 2012!
Barbara
antikhaus Germany
Congrats girlfriend!
A successful business of 10 years and one year of getting your personal life back is a huge deal and I love your honest post about your experience.
You are right on target when you stated that we as people are not defined by what we do. That is very much an American culture thing. The further I go in life, more I discover I value myself for who I am, rather than what I have to offer.
And who am I? Well, that is a path I am traveling right now and am enjoying the discovery. As you are too, I am sure.
I feel very blessed to call you my good friend. You have accomplished so much in such a short amount of time, but mostly, you as a person continue to grow and grow. How lucky we are to live in a time that we are allowed to explore ourselves to our fullest and not be trapped by titles or labels.
I am so happy for you and miss you too. Hope to see you very soon.
Big hug and big love
Elizabeth
Debbie, this post came just at the right time for me for so many reasons. It brought tears to my eyes.
It is nice to hear that moving on and making new choices for a better more fulfilling life can be accomplished at any point. I too am 55 and find myself at a crossroads. I have been making some big(for me) decisions and this post just lifted me up.
We have to do what is right for us and not fret over how everyone else may perceive our choices. Or if by changing direction we will lose what we have already built.
I just love your style and am happy to know this was the right move for you.
I can't wait to watch the rest of your creative story unfold.
Thanks for sharing from your heart, Pam
I am curious to know whether you still consider yourself a "real" retailer? When you had the store you voiced that only brick&mortar store owners ran "reai" retail businesses. I would like to hear what your opinion is now??
I don't make a habit of responding to Anonymous comments, but in this case I will make an exception.
I can't remember ever stating that brick & mortar retailers were "real" versus any other kind, but none the less, I will answer your question.
I will FOREVER have a soft place in my heart for brick & mortar retailers because I was one and only when you have been one will you ever understand the hard work, money and stress involved in running that kind of business 5-7 days a week. Running an online store, no matter how much work it is, will NEVER compare to the work involved in having a business open 50 hours a week or more. Juggling bills, handling customers, training staff, preparing the next season, keeping everything looking great and maybe having a life on the side just cannot compare to an online business- I will never forget that.
Do I consider myself a REAL retailer? I sell stuff, period. I am an online retailer. That's is what I call myself now. You be the judge if its real or not.
Debbie,
So glad to get your perspective on what it is like now. I ran into you the other day at the MIssion Road Antique Mall--I was the one that recognized Pearl. It warms my heart to see you and Pearl out and about gathering up treasures. At Mission Road, I kept thicking, what would Debbie buy? So fun! Glad things are going well, and I look forward to following you on the website.
Gary
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